Hello everyone!!! My name is Kelly Graham. I am 32 years old and I have an Eating Disorder. I have been in recovery for almost 3 years. It has been a very long and difficult road. A road that is still winding with dips and turns everywhere. I am developed the tools to make it day to day. I feel wonderful for the first time in my life.
I wish that every person out there with an eating disorder could step into my shoes for just one day. To realize that there really is hope. That a new and better life is possible. i will be the first to say that recovery is hard, it sucks, everyone will struggle everyday, but there is a way to learn to live and be happy and "clean".
I am a VERY opinionated person. I do not hold things back and I tell things how they are. So a lot of the way that I believe would probably be looked down on by some "specialists", but how can you be a specialist if you have not battled this disease your whole life? So here is my beliefs...you will take this disease to your grave, there is no such thing as being "cured" and it is the HARDEST thing that you will have have to deal with. After all you need food to live, but its the food thats killing you...so what do you do?
I am sure everyone is wondering how did she get into recovery after so long. I could write a book about my experiences (which I will at some point). But I try not look so much into the past. I will say this. I woke up one day and I knew that if I did not do something then this disease would beat me! I did it all on my own (which I do not recommend). Everyday was and still is a struggle. I still have my bad days and I am sure that I always will.
The module of treatment that worked for me is a holistic approach comprised of exercise therapy, nutrition therapy, and talk therapy and also medication therapy.
I am now happy and healthy. I have a lot of support from those around me. I have a great career as a personal trainer and nutritionist. I look at myself in the mirror and think that it seems so long ago that I was 110lbs and 5"10..now I am a super buff and muscular girl that looks like an athlete, and I am proud of what I see.
I am in school and working towards my PhD in Clinical Psychology. I want to change the way that eating disorders are treated. I know that there is hope and I hope that I can be the one to put that hope in as many people as possible.
During this blog I will be conducting research, doing case studies, and collecting as much data and info as possible. The difference is, I want real personal data. I want the world (or at least the psychology world) to truley understand what someone feels like when they have an ED. I want those "specialist" to feel the pain and agony that we have all gone thru. I am creating a curriculum for an Eating Disorder class as well.
So tell me your stories and try to release some of your pain. I have learned that writing is a way to open up without having to be vulnerable.
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Dear Kelly,
I was wondering-you seem to be in great shape and you know alot about eating disorders (bulemia and anorexia). I was wondering what you could suggest for fitness for a man who is cardiac and in his 50's. I need a fitness trainer
who can keep me motivated and keep my active with either weight-training with mild cardio, without the home visits. Maybe acooldown of tai-chi or pilates. If you can help or recommend a trainer that might be able to do home visits I
would be grateful. I start out great but I never stick to it and
usually drop out, and in worse shape. I need a personal trainer that is not too tough, but a friendly woman who can keep me at an optimum level. If you know of any friends that are willing to take me on, I would love to consult and sign up.
I was formerly on steroids and I built a lot of muscle and a lot of body mass. However that was in my 20's and now my weight gain is above 30 percent body mass index.
I would like to know if this posed a health risk in later life and
if so what should I do for the
exercise for weight loss. Also I was thinking of taking off 80 lbs with a plastic surgeon to alleviate my cardiac condition.
This would add years to my life but I need to coordiante it with a surgeon that will work with me.
yours,
, barry
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